


shadows fall away like dust

by dinosar



Series: haikyuu!! soulmates au [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Friendship, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Romantic Soulmates, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, literally most of this is so fluffy i Die, mentions of kuroo and daichi doin the diddly but nothing explicit, suga is super insecure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:12:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6897922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosar/pseuds/dinosar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>koushi makes a bad decision because of his insecurities, but daichi and tetsurou are there to make sure he doesn't let that decision ruin the best thing that's ever happened to him.</p>
<p>(au where any mark made on your soulmate's body also appears on your own)</p>
            </blockquote>





	shadows fall away like dust

**Author's Note:**

> When we grew up,  
> Our shadows grew up too.  
> But they’re just old ghosts  
> That we grow attached to.  
> The tragic flaw is that they hide the truth
> 
> That you’re enough.  
> I promise you’re enough.  
> I promise you’re enough, I promise you.
> 
> \---
> 
> title and lyrics above come from "you are enough" by sleeping at last!! @myself stop naming fics after lines from sleeping at last songs, fucko
> 
> anyway!! i've been working on this for a while and i finally got it done?? it was supposed to be mainly iwaoisuga but i am Out Of Control so theres a lot of kurodai in there lmao.................................i hope u all enjoy!! i swear i'll start writing other ships in this au soon........probably..............
> 
> also i dont think u dont have to, but if u havent read the previous iwaoisuga fic in this au, u might understand this one a lil better!!

Koushi adores Hajime and Tooru.

 

With every new thing he learns about them, it only makes him fall more in love with them. He loves the way he catches Hajime staring at him with naked adoration on his face when he thinks that he's not looking, and the deep blush that spreads across his cheeks when Koushi lets him know that he's been caught in the act. He loves the way that Tooru goes out of his way to touch him, whether it's linking their pinky fingers together when they're watching a movie or absentmindedly playing with his hair when they're talking. When he starts staying the night with them on weekends, he learns that Hajime is surprisingly the clingier one when he's sleepy, often draping an arm around him and pulling him to his chest, while Tooru likes to simply lay against one of them while keeping to himself (he claims he gets too hot when they cling to him).

 

He loves them, and he's sure they they love him too, but...old insecurities die hard.

 

He knows it's stupid to feel insecure, after how much they assure him that they're happy he's there, but it's hard. They've known each other their entire lives, and when he thinks about that, it's hard to not feel like an outsider who's intruding on something precious. And sometimes, when they're all writing to each other...they'll start talking about things they've done together in the past, things Koushi wasn't present for, and it makes him feel left out. When this happens, he usually lets himself fade to the background, and...it's rare that they even notice. He's sure they don't do it intentionally, they're just used to it being just the two of them. He understands, he really does, but...

 

It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt.

 

He doesn't tell them any of this, of course. He's not about to make a fuss or make them feel like they've done something wrong, because they _haven't_. Koushi knows that _he's_ the one at fault, for intruding on their lives so suddenly and disrupting their relationship. Not that he'd had a choice in the matter, but _still_.

 

It's funny, because he knows these thoughts aren't rational, but it doesn't stop him from thinking them. He wants to talk to Daichi about it, but he knows Daichi will just tell him he's being silly, and that he'll want him to talk to Hajime and Tooru about it.

 

And so he keeps it to himself―he doesn't want to burden anyone with his insecurities.

 

* * *

 

“You're _sure_ that we're alone? Because I swear to god if your dad walks in on us one more time I'm going to have to change my name and leave the country―”

 

“It's just us,” Daichi breathes against Tetsurou's neck, lips moving down the long column as his hands slip up beneath the taller boy's shirt. “It's just you, me and my bed for the next two days,” he finishes, nipping at Tetsurou's collarbone and drawing a shocked moan from him.

 

“I _am_ going to need a few snack breaks, you know. Maybe a couple pee breaks, too. I'm not a machine, Daichi,” the taller boy tells him with a breathless laugh, long fingers tangling in short brown hair.

 

“I guess I can allow that,” Daichi murmurs, and then he's pressing their lips together and backing Tetsurou toward the bed until they fall together, their kiss somehow not breaking.

 

Daichi thinks they deserve a medal for that, probably.

 

It's as Daichi's shirt is being tugged over his head by an already shirtless Tetsurou that his phone begins to ring.

 

“Oh my god please ignore it Daichi,” Tetsurou groans.

 

“Let me just check who it is,” the brunet replies, rolling off of Tetsurou and grabbing his phone off his nightstand.

 

_Iwaizumi is calling..._

 

Daichi's brow furrows. “Why is Iwaizumi calling me?” he wonders aloud.

 

Tetsurou sits up, raising an eyebrow. “Iwaizumi as in one of Sugawara's soulmates?”

 

Daichi nods. “I'm gonna answer it,” he says as he hits talk, raising his phone to his ear. “Hello?”

 

He doesn't even say hello. _“Have you talked to Koushi lately?”_ he asks, and his voice sounds strained.

 

Daichi raises an eyebrow, confused. “Yeah, I was texting him earlier and I was with him yesterday. Why?”

 

“ _Oh thank god he's okay,”_ Iwaizumi breathes.

 

Daichi tilts his head. “What do you mean, you thought something was wrong?”

 

“ _Tooru and I haven't heard from him in two days,”_ he tells Daichi. _“We thought...I don't know what we thought. We've written to him, called him, skyped him...he hasn't answered us at all. We were worried that something happened to him. I mean, I figured you would've called us if that was the case, but...”_

 

“Wait, _what_?” Tetsurou shoots him a confused look, and Daichi holds up a finger to tell him to wait. “What do you mean you haven't heard from him? He told me yesterday that he was talking to you guys right before I got to his house, that you were both busy with your families which is why he asked me to come over...”

 

“ _I don't know how many times we tried to ask him if he wanted to come over yesterday―wait, shit, he's writing something, hang on.”_

 

Daichi waits. And waits. And then there's the sound of something dropping, probably the phone, and his eyes widen.

 

“ _Sorry, I dropped my phone,”_ Iwaizumi says a few seconds later, and his voice sounds different, like he's in shock or something.

 

“It's okay...what did he say to you?” Daichi asks, biting his lip.

 

There's a pause, a deep breath, and then, _“He said he doesn't want to see us anymore.”_

 

“Wait. _What_?” There's no way Koushi would say that―he adores them, they're his soulmates for crying out loud. “Are you sure?”

 

“ _I know how to read, Sawamura,”_ Iwaizumi bites out, and then he sighs. _“Sorry, I shouldn't take it out on you...I just don't know where this is coming from. Has he said anything to you about anything we've done? Is he not...happy?”_ His voice kind of breaks at the end, and it takes Daichi by surprise―his impression of Iwaizumi is that he's not an overly emotional person...

 

“He hasn't said anything, all he's ever told me is how much he loves you guys and how happy he is to be with you,” Daichi replies, rubbing his face. Just what is going through Koushi's head? “I'm going to go to his house and see what's going on, okay?”

 

“ _You don't have to do that. Your soulmate's in town right now, isn't he? You shouldn't waste any of the time you have with him, Tooru and I can go and try to talk to him...”_

 

“No offense,” Daichi begins, “but if he said that, I don't think he'll want you guys showing up at his door. I'm his best friend―if he's going to talk to anyone right now, it's going to be me.” Softer, he adds, “I promise I'll get to the bottom of this, okay?”

 

“ _...alright. Let me know what happens, then―I'm going over to Tooru's now, because he's freaking out.”_

 

“I'll call or text you as soon as I know what's going on,” Daichi promises.

 

The call ends, and Daichi turns to his soulmate. “Put your shirt back on, we need to go to Koushi's right now.”

 

Doing as he's asked, Tetsurou grabs his shirt and slips it on, looking confused. “What's going on?” he asks.

 

Daichi lets out a sigh, rubbing his cheek. “Koushi just told Iwaizumi and Oikawa that he doesn't wanna see them anymore. I can't imagine him ever actually wanting them out of his life, especially since he's been so happy since he found them, so I'm going to get to the bottom of this,” he says firmly, standing up and reaching for his coat. Turning back, he offers a small smile. “I'll make it up to you when we get back, I promise.”

 

Tetsurou stands, stealing a kiss as he reaches for his own coat. “I'm fine with that,” he assures him, smiling and rubbing their noses together. “This is important enough that I don't mind the delay in our plans.”

 

“Thank you,” he says softly, slipping his coat on. Once Tetsurou does the same, Daichi takes his hand and pulls him toward the front door, grabbing the keys to his dad's truck on the way.

 

As they're slipping their shoes on, there's a soft knock on the door.

 

Brow furrowed, Daichi reaches for the handle and pulls it open, eyes widening when he sees a shivering Koushi outside his door. “Oh my god, I was just about to go to your house!” Daichi exclaims, pulling him inside and immediately hugging him. Koushi is cold―he's not wearing a coat, and it's freezing outside... “Iwaizumi just called me, what's going on?”

 

He feels Koushi stiffen at the name, but then he goes slack. “It doesn't matter,” he replies quietly. “Anyway, I...I'm sorry, I know I'm intruding on your time with Kuroo, but...I didn't know what else to do,” he adds, his voice little more than a whisper.

 

“Tetsu, go grab the blanket off my bed,” Daichi tells his soulmate as he pulls Koushi into the living room, gently sitting him down on the couch. Tetsurou returns almost immediately with the blanket, and Daichi wraps it around Koushi's shoulders before wrapping an arm around him.

 

He looks awful―his hair is a mess, his eyes are red like he's been crying for a while, and he looks like he hasn't slept. It worries Daichi, and he shares a meaningful look with Tetsurou.

 

“I'll go make tea,” the black-haired teen mumbles, leaving the room and heading for the kitchen.

 

“Koushi, what's going on? Why did you tell them you don't wanna see them anymore?” he asks, softly but firmly.

 

“It doesn't _matter_ ,” he says again, sharper than before, and Daichi is slightly taken aback by it.

 

“Nuh uh, no way, Koushi, you don't get to get off that easily after showing up here looking like you do,” Daichi tells him, voice hard. “Do you have any idea how upset and confused they are right now? Iwaizumi sounded like he was going to cry on the phone. You owe them an explanation, and I told him I'd get answers.”

 

Koushi looks stricken, face paling even more than it already was. “Hajime...sounded that bad?” he asks, like it's unusual for his own soulmate to be upset after being told that he doesn't want to see him anymore. He looks down at his hands in his lap, where he's got the sleeves of his shirt pulled down so far that only the tips of his fingers are visible. “I haven't looked since I wrote what I wrote,” he admits, and even though Daichi's kind of angry with him for how he's acting, he still hates the way his voice wobbles. “I've been too scared.”

 

“Scared of what?” Daichi presses, but his voice is softer now―it's obvious that his best friend is really struggling internally with something.

 

“Scared that I'll lose my resolve,” he answers, squeezing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath. “They don't need me, Daichi. _Really_. They've been together for so long and they don't need me changing their relationship any more than I already have. Sometimes...I think they kinda forget I'm there unless I'm with them. And I get it, I really do―it was just the two of them for so long, they have so many great memories together and they get caught up in each other a lot. I could never get mad at them for that, because they're just doing what they've always done. _I'm_ the one who came in and changed everything for them, so I just...I love them enough to leave them so they can be happy,” he finishes, and Daichi is torn between smacking him for how stupid he's being and hugging him when he sees the tears that manage to slip through his closed eyes.

 

There's a clearing of a throat from the other side of the room, and Daichi glances over to find Tetsurou peeking in. “Listen, Sugawara, I know I don't know you all that well yet so I really have no place involving myself, but...” He creeps in closer, until he's in front of Koushi, and the pale-haired teen hesitantly meets his eyes. “To be completely honest, that is the stupidest logic I've ever heard in my entire life. You're their soulmate, Sugawara―you see their writing and they see yours for a reason. It's not like one day you just decided 'Hey, I'm gonna be soulmates with these two guys!' It happened on its own, and you acting as if you somehow ruined their lives is just...stupid and completely wrong, okay? God, I sound so harsh, but you're important to Daichi and therefore important to me so I'm not gonna let you ruin this for yourself. Did they ever indicate to you that you're unwanted? Have you ever told them about feeling left out?” When Koushi slowly shakes his head, Tetsurou sighs. “And there's where the problem is―you're assuming things and not telling them how you feel, and that's no way for things to be. You need to communicate with them instead of assuming you're unwanted and running away, Sugawara, or nothing is going to work out for you guys.”

 

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” Daichi says in agreement, patting the spot next to him on the couch and wrapping an arm around his soulmate when he sits beside him. “Koushi, Tetsu's right, and I'm not going to stand by and watch you do this to yourself. Now what you're going to do is get your shoes on―Tetsu, can you go get our coats and an extra one from my closet for Koushi?”

 

“Where are we going?” Koushi asks, eyes wide with panic as he watches Tetsurou get up to leave the room.

 

“I'm going to call Iwaizumi, find out where he and Oikawa are and then I'm going to drive you to them so you can work this out,” Daichi says, his tone leaving no room for argument. “And I _will_ carry you out the door if I have to.”

 

“But I can't go back after what I said―”

 

“They love you, Sugawara,” Tetsurou cuts in as he stops in the doorway, shaking his head. “If Daichi told me he didn't want to be with me for whatever reason...yeah, I'd be hurt, but I'd let him explain himself if he wanted to. Because if you really love someone, and you know that they really love you...you do your best to make it work. They deserve an explanation.”

 

Daichi squeezes Tetsurou's hand before opening his mouth to speak. “I know it's hard to get over your insecurities and your fears, Koushi, especially when you've been so down on yourself for so many years, but...I can assure you that they fucking _adore_ you, and that they're glad you're in their lives. You need to let them know how you feel so you can all fix things, together.” Quick as a flash, he reaches out and pulls one of Koushi's sleeves up, revealing a million worried messages and “I love you”s. “Look at this, Koushi. Don't do this to them _or_ to yourself,” he finishes softly, watching his best friend's eyes fill with tears again.

 

“Okay,” he whispers, voice catching as a sob rises in his throat. “Okay, I'll talk to them.”

 

Tetsurou grabs their coats, and they all make their way toward Daichi's dad's truck, which he'd left for Daichi to use while he's away on a camping trip with his brother. Daichi hands the keys to Tetsurou while he pulls out his phone to call Iwaizumi, laughing at the unsure look on his soulmate's face. “I'll tell you how to get there, I just don't wanna talk on the phone and drive,” he explains.

 

“Alright...,” Tetsurou replies uncertainly, taking the keys.

 

They climb into the 3-seater truck, Daichi sitting in between his soulmate and his best friend, and he dials Iwaizumi's number as Tetsurou pulls out of the driveway.

 

Iwaizumi picks up on the second ring.

 

“ _Did you talk to him? Is he okay?”_

 

Daichi's face goes soft at the worry he hears in the other teen's voice. “He's with me right now. He's...well, I wouldn't say he's okay, but that can be fixed once you tell me where you are right now so Tetsu and I can drop him off.”

 

“ _He agreed to come see us?! Already?!”_ Iwaizumi exclaims.

 

Daichi hums. “Tetsu and I had a talk with him and made him realize a few things, but it's not my place to explain anything,” he replies, glancing over to meet his best friend's eyes. He's biting his lip, looking like he wants to say something, but his mouth remains shut. “Listen, he's just...really insecure about a lot of things, and I know you guys are probably hurt right now, but please try and calmly hear him out. He didn't do this because he wanted to. That's all I'm going to say.”

 

There's a pause, then a sigh. _“Can you put me on speakerphone for a second?”_ he asks.

 

“Yeah, okay.” Daichi taps the speakerphone icon, holding his phone out in front of him. “Okay, it's on.”

 

“ _Koushi?”_ Iwaizumi says softly. _“Listen, I don't know what's going on in your head right now, but we aren't mad at you. We're just...really fucking confused, that's all. We love you, okay? No matter what. Okay, I've said what I need to say.”_

 

Daichi turns speakerphone off just as the first great sob escapes Koushi, and the brunet wraps his free arm around him and rubs his back as his other hand lifts his phone back to his ear. “Okay, so where are you? Tetsu's driving and he doesn't know his way around so I need to give him directions.”

 

Iwaizumi gives him directions to Oikawa's, where the two of them are currently at. The call ends, and Daichi tucks his phone into the pocket of his coat before turning to his best friend. “Are you okay?”

 

Still biting his lip as tears slip down his cheeks, Koushi simply nods. “I'm so stupid, what is wrong with me?” he asks, voice cracking.

 

Daichi pulls him close and kisses the side of his head. “I won't say you're not being stupid, but you get it now so I won't make it any worse. Just make sure you actually _talk_ to them, Koushi―don't brush off your insecurities or keep them from knowing about them, or else nothing is ever going to change. Got it?”

 

Slowly, Koushi nods. “Thank you, Daichi. You too, Kuroo-kun―it's nice that you care so much even though you don't really know me that well yet...”

 

Tetsurou scratches the back of his head in embarrassment, though he tries to play it off. “Well, I feel like I know you pretty well from how much Daichi talks about you, so I uh...I want you to be happy and stuff, because you seem like a really cool guy, y'know?”

 

A choked laugh leaves the pale-haired teen as he turns to Daichi. “You were right, he really is a nerd.”

 

Tetsurou's mouth falls open, a scandalized gasp escaping him. “You called me a nerd?”

 

Daichi smiles, reaching out to pinch his cheek. “I call 'em like I see 'em, Tetsu,” he answers. “You're my favorite nerd, though, don't worry,” he tacks on, letting go of his cheek to lean over and kiss it instead.

 

“You guys are adorable,” Koushi sniffles, a small smile on his face as he paws at his eyes to wipe the tears away. “Seeing you together makes me really happy.”

 

“Glad to be of service,” they reply in unison.

 

The drive goes by quickly―Oikawa's house is about ten minutes away from Daichi's, and they manage to get there with only a few wrong turns taken by Tetsurou. When they park outside, Koushi immediately tenses.

 

“Ready?” Daichi asks, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Nope,” Koushi whispers, gripping the handle of the door tightly. “I don't know if I can do this...I know they're not mad, but...I feel so stupid and awful for doing this to them...”

 

“Want us to walk you to the door?” Tetsurou offers, and it warms Daichi's heart to see his soulmate trying to help his best friend. He's really glad they're getting along, because...well, he really doesn't know what he'd do if they didn't. They're two of the most important people in his life, so the fact that they get along is a weight off his shoulders.

 

With only a few seconds of hesitation, Koushi nods.

 

The three of them get out, Daichi and Tetsurou flanking Koushi. When they reach the door, Koushi freezes completely, so Daichi wraps an arm around his best friend while Tetsurou knocks on the door.

 

They wait maybe two seconds before the door is being thrown open by a teary Oikawa.

 

“Koushi!” he cries, throwing himself at his pale-haired soulmate and wrapping his arms around him. Koushi's hands hover, unsure.

 

Iwaizumi appears in the doorway next, eyes slightly red, and Daichi offers him a soft smile. “Special delivery,” he says, leaving Koushi's side to take Tetsurou's hand. “Can you take it from here?” he asks Iwaizumi.

 

Iwaizumi nods. “We're good. Thank you for bringing him over, we owe you one...” His eyes move to Tetsurou, and he smiles a little. “You must be Kuroo. I didn't think we'd meet like this, but it's nice to meet you anyway. I'd tell Shittykawa to introduce himself, but he's too busy mauling Koushi right now, so...yeah, that's Oikawa, and I'm Iwaizumi. Hopefully we'll meet again at a better time,” he says, scratching the back of his head.

 

Tetsurou lets out a quiet laugh. “It's nice to meet you too, and yes, I hope we can all hang out sometime when I'm in town again,” he replies.

 

Oikawa momentarily stops crying into Koushi's shoulder, teary eyes resting on Daichi. “Thank you Dai-chan, and you too, Tetsu-chan,” he blubbers, sniffling loudly. “We're really grateful to you both for bringing him here.”

 

Daichi smiles. “No thank you needed. Anyway, we're gonna get going so you all can talk...” He reaches over to squeeze Koushi's shoulder reassuringly. “Tell them the truth, okay? No lies, Koushi. Promise me.”

 

Wiping the fresh tears from his eyes, Koushi takes a shaky breath and nods. “Yeah, I promise.”

 

Daichi and Tetsurou start their walk back to the truck, hearing the front door of Oikawa's house close behind them, and Tetsurou ducks his head close to Daichi's ear. “Did he just call me Tetsu-chan...?” he asks, voice a hushed whisper.

 

Daichi snorts. “You'll soon learn that that's just how Oikawa is. He's...a little overly-familiar with people, but he's harmless.”

 

“Whatever you say...” They climb into the truck, Daichi in the driver's seat this time, and Tetsurou hands him the keys with a saucy grin slowly spreading across his face. “So...your dad's truck has a nice long seat, if we found a secluded place to park we could definitely―”

 

“Oh my _god_ I'm not fucking you in my dad's truck, Tetsurou, jesus christ,” Daichi cuts him off, shaking his head as he puts the key in the ignition and starts the truck. “You can wait the ten minutes until we get back to my house, you insatiable idiot.”

 

“It was worth a shot,” Tetsurou shrugs.

 

Daichi sighs, affection creeping into his voice. “When I get my own car, we'll talk about it. But if we fucked in my dad's truck, I don't think I'd ever be able to look him in the eyes again.”

 

Tetsurou laughs. “Damn, I didn't think you'd ever even consider it. Ya learn something new every day, huh?”

 

Daichi rolls his eyes before pulling away from Oikawa's house, the truck moving at a decent pace down the road. “Just because I'm a sensible guy doesn't mean I don't think about...these things,” he says, clearing his throat in embarrassment. “I'm a healthy teenage boy, you know.”

 

“Coulda fooled me,” Tetsurou hums, casting him a sidelong glance. “Especially with those old man socks you wear, Daichi. Those are really... _something_.”

 

The brunet makes an offended sound. “Hey, they're comfy! And no one sees my socks anyway, they're always covered by my shoes. I don't see why their appearance matters,” he sniffs, pointedly looking away from his soulmate.

 

Tetsurou snorts. “Whatever you say. I love you and your old man socks no matter what,” he coos, leaning over the empty seat between them to rub his face on Daichi's arm.

 

Reluctantly, Daichi laughs as he shoves him away. “Idiot, you're gonna make me drive off the road.”

 

From the corner of his eye, Daichi can see the other teen pout. “You're not gonna say it back? I see how it is.”

 

Daichi sighs, shaking his head. “You already know that I love you, you big baby,” he says with a fond smile, reaching over to grab Tetsurou's hand and bring it to his mouth, where he gently kisses his knuckles.

 

“I know, but it doesn't mean I don't love hearing you say it,” Tetsurou counters, but he sounds placated.

 

“I apologize,” Daichi says softly as they stop at a red light. He tugs Tetsurou closer so he can gently press their lips together. “I love you so much,” he whispers against his mouth, knuckles grazing along the taller teen's cheekbone.

 

“Much better,” Tetsurou mumbles before kissing him harder, and it reminds Daichi of what they'd been doing before Iwaizumi had called. Heat flashes through him at the thought, and he can't help but tug Tetsurou closer, tongue tracing the seam of his lips.

 

The honk of the horn of the car behind them startles them into separating, and Daichi takes a deep, calming breath as he places his hands back on the wheel, foot gently nudging the gas pedal when he realizes that the traffic light had turned green at some point when they were kissing. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Tetsurou touching his lips, then a peek of his tongue slipping out to wet them...

 

Daichi _really_ can't wait to get home.

 

* * *

 

The sound of the door of Tooru's house shutting behind them is very...final-sounding, Koushi thinks. It sets him on edge, even though he knows he's being stupid, that they aren't angry. Still, he can't help but be terrified; and when a warm, callused hand takes his own, it causes him to jump.

 

“Easy,” Hajime says softly, letting him go immediately. “Let's just go into Tooru's room to talk, yeah?”

 

Swallowing hard, Koushi nods. He wraps his arms around himself as he follows them toward Tooru's room, looking down at the floor so that he doesn't have to see the worried looks Tooru keeps giving him over his shoulder. He wants to kick himself for hurting them, he really does.

 

Without meaning to, he starts to cry again.

 

“Don't,” he says quickly when he sees Tooru reach out toward him, wincing when his hand jerks back like he'd been burned. “I'm fine,” he adds, more softly. “I...don't even know why I'm crying again.”

 

They sit on Tooru's bed together once they're inside his room, the door sliding shut behind them, and for a few awkward moments, everything is silent aside from Koushi's sniffling as he wipes at the tears that won't seem to stop slipping from his eyes.

 

“Look,” Hajime begins when the silence starts to become truly oppressive, and Koushi looks over to find him scratching the back of his neck as he pointedly looks at the floor. “We don't wanna push you or anything, but...it'd be nice if you explained what's going on in that head of yours...”

 

“Tell us what we did wrong so we can fix it,” Tooru chimes in, hands clutching his knees so tightly that his skin is taut against his knuckles, white with the strain.

 

“You didn't do anything wrong,” Koushi blurts out, but then he shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut. _No lies_. “No, wait, I promised I'd be truthful. I just...I don't want either of you to feel bad, because I _know_ it's not something you do intentionally...”

 

“Just tell us,” Hajime begs, and Koushi knows he's trying very hard not to reach out and take his hand because his hands are fidgeting in the sheets on Tooru's bed, like he has to remind himself that he probably shouldn't touch Koushi right now. “We can handle it, Koushi―we need to know so we can fix this.”

 

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Koushi opens his mouth to continue. “Sometimes...I feel like you two don't need me the way I need you. I mean, it's been just the two of you for so long, so I never expected to compare to either of you, but...it just feels like you forget I'm here sometimes, when we're writing to each other I mean. You two have so many great memories together, and I just...I feel like I have no place in your lives sometimes. Like I'm just... _there_ , like nothing would change if I wasn't around. So that's why I said what I did, I guess. Because I figured it would be easier on all of us that way,” he finishes, voice shaking. He's surprised that he managed to get it all out, having kept those feelings locked in for so long, but...in a strange way, it's a relief to say it all, no matter how terrifying it was to say.

 

To his side, Koushi hears Tooru let out a choked sound. “Koushi, I...” A sob cuts the brunet off, and he forces himself to take a deep breath. “I'm so, so sorry, I...I had no idea that you felt like that. God, we're such _idiots_ , how did we not notice that we were making you feel like that...?”

 

“Thank you for telling us,” Hajime says quietly, and Koushi can hear the slight crack in his voice. “But I want you to listen to me―yes, Tooru and I have been together all our lives, but...that's _no_ excuse for this. We should've been making more of an effort to include you in our conversations, goddammit...I'm so mad at myself right now, and so sorry that I've neglected you like this,” he continues, and Koushi can see that he's shaking. “You should've told us sooner, I hate knowing that you've felt so unneeded all this time...”

 

“Koushi, we adore you, and I'm so sorry if it felt like we didn't,” Tooru tells him, voice wobbly. “We're going to do better from now on, right Hajime?” At Hajime's fervent nod, he continues. “If you'll still have us...we're going to do everything we can to make up for this. I swear, Koushi, you'll never have to feel that way again.”

 

Koushi feels his lower lip start to tremble, and he wraps his arms around himself tightly. “You promise?” he asks, and he hates the way that his voice cracks.

 

That crack seems to have been the last straw for Hajime, because he immediately surges forward and wraps his arms around the pale-haired teen, practically crushing him to his chest as he slides a hand into his hair to stroke it. “We promise,” they say in unison, and Koushi feels Tooru's chest against his back as he joins in on the hug.

 

“I'm sorry I'm so needy and insecure,” Koushi whispers, hot tears soaking into Hajime's t-shirt.

 

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Hajime assures him, kissing his temple. “We love you so much, and we're going to make sure you know it.”

 

“I just feel so stupid, because I know I probably blew things _way_ out of proportion―”

 

His sentence is cut short when he feels a callused hand grab his chin to turn his head, and before he knows it Tooru's lips are on his own. The taller boy is gentle, careful, as if he's scared of spooking Koushi or something, but there's determination in that kiss underneath all the softness. “Don't say that,” he whispers a moment later, forehead pressed to Koushi's own. “Stop trying to downplay your feelings like they don't matter Koushi. Because they _do_ matter, they matter just as much as mine or Hajime's do so I want you to stop acting like our feelings are more important than yours. Stop trying to spare our feelings while ignoring how _you_ feel, because it's not right and we want you to always be truthful with us. It's all three of us together, Koushi―we all need to be equals in this, and Hajime and I haven't done a very good job of making you feel like our equal but we're going to fix it because goddammit we love you so much and I know I can speak for the both of us when I say that we never want you to feel like that ever again―”

 

Overcome, Koushi turns his body so that he can kiss him properly. He feels Tooru tense with surprise for a moment before he relaxes, wrapping his arms around Koushi's waist and kissing him back.

 

The kiss ends a moment later, when Tooru pulls away just enough so that their lips are no longer touching. “As much as I love kissing you, you should probably kiss Iwa-chan before he cries,” he whispers, kissing Koushi's forehead before pulling away completely.

 

Koushi turns back to face his other soulmate, scratching the back of his head. “Sorry, I didn't mean to neglect you or anything,” he mumbles, guilt rising within him.

 

But Hajime smiles, shaking his head, and the action immediately puts him at ease. “Don't be sorry. I was just thinking how much I love both of you, anyway,” he replies, voice soft and soothing any remaining worries Koushi might've had. He leans closer, reaching up to rub the line of Koushi's jaw with his thumb, and the look in his eyes makes Koushi's breath catch in his throat. “I _will_ take that kiss, though―if you're offering, that is,” he tacks on, flashing a toothy grin that has Koushi's heart beating a little faster.

 

Koushi nods, eyes falling shut as Hajime leans closer. Their lips touch, and a stray tear slips down Koushi's cheek as his arms wrap around Hajime's neck, clinging tightly. Hajime is...softer than Tooru when he kisses―not that Tooru is rough or anything, but there's always a distinct delicateness to the way that Hajime holds him, moves his lips against his. Tooru kisses with an unwavering eagerness, like he's been waiting all his life for this one kiss (only it's with every kiss), and it's easy to be swept away in his eagerness. In contrast, kissing Hajime is like coming home after a long day and wrapping yourself in a warm, fluffy blanket; his kisses are slow and deliberate where Tooru's are like a tornado that sweeps you away. Koushi doesn't prefer one to the other, though―both have their individual charms. He appreciates them for their differences, and he loves them all the same.

 

The kiss ends soon after, but Koushi keeps his eyes shut, forehead pressed against Hajime's. Hajime is rubbing his cheek with his thumb, pressing small, comforting kisses to Koushi's lips every few seconds, and Koushi feels more relaxed and loved than he has in a very long while. When Tooru starts tracing patterns on his back, Koushi opens his eyes and turns his head to find the brunet staring with a soft look in his eyes, love practically radiating from his entire being, and not for the first time, Koushi is struck by just how lucky he is to have both of them to love and be loved by.

 

“I love you both so much,” Koushi says softly. “Thank you for being so understanding...”

 

“We love you too,” Hajime tells him, bumping their noses together tenderly. “We're always going to love you no matter what, Koushi.”

 

Tooru hums in agreement, laying his head on Koushi's shoulder. “Don't ever be afraid to tell us when something's wrong, okay? We're always gonna work things out. Just tell us when you need a little extra love, hmm? Because there's lots of that to go around.”

 

Overcome, Koushi tilts Tooru's head up so he can kiss him, and then he's turning the other way to kiss Hajime as well. His heart feels like it's going to burst from trying to contain the amount of love he feels for them, and he just has a very strong need to express it however he can.

 

Hajime gets up, stretching his arms. “I'm going to get us some snacks. Tooru, put a movie on for us? And before you ask, none of your dumb alien movies,” he says, laughing at the offended noise Tooru immediately makes.

 

“They're not dumb, Iwa-chan! And it's my house, I can put on whatever movie I want,” he pouts, crossing his arms.

 

Eyes softening, Hajime leans down to kiss the huffing brunet, running his knuckles across his cheek. The action brings the tenderest of smiles to Koushi's face, and he quickly raises a hand to cover it. “I'm kidding, we can watch whatever you wanna put on. You're fine with that, right Koushi?” Hajime asks as he pulls away, turning his attention to Koushi.

 

Koushi nods, a small laugh escaping him. “He'd pout all night if we didn't let him pick, after all.”

 

“You bullies,” Tooru sniffs.

 

Koushi shares a look with Hajime, and then they're both leaning in to kiss each of Tooru's cheeks. It causes Tooru to immediately blush, and he clears his throat in an effort to play it off. “It's not fair to team up on me like that, you know,” he mumbles.

 

“Payback,” Hajime says as he walks toward the door. “You two team up on me all the time.”

 

“I think we need to start teaming up on Koushi,” Tooru mutters, pursing his lips. “He's gone unscathed for too long.”

 

Koushi holds up his hands, laughing. “Hey, I'm too cute and nice for that. Would you two really gang up on someone like me?” he questions, false innocence in his tone.

 

Hajime shakes his head, sighing. “I thought Tooru was bad, but he has nothing on you. You're a demon, Koushi. An adorable, purposefully unassuming demon.” He leaves to get their snacks then, and Tooru gets up to pick a movie. Koushi scoots back against the headboard of Tooru's bed, slipping under the blanket to get comfortable, and Tooru returns seconds later with the remote for his tv and slips in beside him.

 

“Hey,” Tooru murmurs, opening his arms. Koushi immediately scoots into his embrace, and he feels Tooru's lips against his brow. “You look tired,” he remarks, stroking Koushi's pale hair. “I'm sorry this happened, Kou-chan...”

 

Koushi shakes his head, smiling into Tooru's chest. “Don't apologize. I should've said something sooner, after all. This is all so new...I should've known it would be a big change for everyone and that it would take some getting used to. But...I don't feel scared anymore. I know you and Hajime love me and that you want me around, I was just being stupid before. I don't think it's going to happen again.”

 

“Well if it does, Hajime and I will be right here to convince you of how much we love you and need you with us,” Tooru murmurs.

 

Koushi hums, allowing his eyes to close. The tiredness is really hitting him, now that he's wrapped in Tooru's arms like this. “I know. Thank you, Tooru.”

 

Hajime returns with snacks a few moments later, footsteps light. “Is he asleep?” he asks Tooru, and Koushi can't help but smile when he feels how carefully Hajime sits on the bed, as if he's scared of disturbing him.

 

Koushi sits up slowly, rubbing his tired eyes. “Not yet,” he replies, feeling a yawn rise in his throat.

 

“I'm glad you came back, I was starting to overheat,” Tooru tells Hajime, an apologetic smile. “I promise I love cuddling with you, Kou-chan, but you're like a heater...”

 

Laughing softly, Koushi cups the brunet's cheek and kisses him. “I know. Don't worry, I'm not offended,” he assures him, smiling.

 

Hajime slides under the blankets on Koushi's free side, handing the snacks to Tooru and opening his arms. “C'mere,” he tells Koushi, grinning. Koushi immediately settles against him, laying his head on his shoulder and wrapping an arm and a leg around him. He then feels Tooru relax into his side, content to be free from having too-warm limbs wrapped around him.

 

Tooru hits play, and no one is surprised when _E.T._ starts playing on the tv. Koushi tries to watch it, but his eyes feel heavy―he keeps dozing off, blinking awake every few minutes only for it to happen again.

 

“Get some sleep,” Hajime says softly, kissing his forehead. “We're not going anywhere.”

 

“Okay,” Koushi whispers, and when his eyes close again, he finally allows himself to drift off.

 

* * *

 

“I wonder how Koushi's doing,” Daichi muses, playing with Tetsurou's fingers as they lay in his bed, tangled together under the blankets.

 

Tetsurou snorts. “You just had amazing, mind-blowing sex with yours truly and you're thinking about your friend? Ouch.” Daichi elbows him, earning a laugh. “I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I promise. I know how important he is to you, Daichi. But I think he's okay―I only met them for a few seconds, but Oikawa and Iwaizumi seem like they love him a lot. I'm sure they're all fine, I don't think you have anything to worry about.”

 

“I just hope he was honest with them,” Daichi sighs, letting go of Tetsurou's hand to hug him instead, nuzzling his face into his wild hair. “I just want him to be happy, y'know? And he's not going to be happy if this doesn't get resolved.”

 

“I know,” Tetsurou hums, turning his head to press a soft kiss to Daichi's slightly sweat-damp throat. “I love you a lot, you know that?”

 

Daichi feels a smile pull at his lips. “I love you too,” he murmurs, letting out a content sigh. “Koushi's a big boy, I'm sure he's handling things just fine. I promise you have my full attention now,” he continues, hand sliding up Tetsurou's body until he reaches his chin, tilting his head up to connect their lips in a languid kiss.

 

“Mm, you ready again? _Already_?” Tetsurou teases, rolling on top of Daichi and kissing him again, stealing the breath from Daichi's throat.

 

“What can I say? I'm a healthy teenage boy,” he says again, a mischievous grin on his face.

 

There's a beat of silence, and then Tetsurou is releasing a long, shaky breath. “I adore you,” he breathes before kissing Daichi again, deeper than before, and Daichi can feel his intent clearly.

 

And then Daichi's phone chimes, and Tetsurou rolls off of him with a groan. “This is the second time today,” he laments, arm thrown dramatically over his eyes as Daichi reaches over to grab his phone from his nightstand.

 

“Don't be such a baby,” Daichi says fondly as he unlocks his phone, finding a text from Oikawa.

 

_(7:41 pm) oikawa: thank u  
(7:41 pm) oikawa: sent an attachment_

 

Daichi opens the picture Oikawa sent him, and immediately, his eyes soften.

 

In the corner, Oikawa is smiling widely. Beside him, Koushi is wrapped up in Iwaizumi's arms, fast asleep on his shoulder, and Iwaizumi is tenderly kissing his forehead.

 

“Looks like I _definitely_ don't have to worry anymore,” Daichi murmurs, voice soft. He turns his phone for Tetsurou to see, smiling when he sees that he can't help but smile at the picture.

 

“I'm glad they worked it out,” Tetsurou says earnestly, reaching for Daichi's phone. He locks it and sets it aside, eyelids drooping the slightest bit as he rolls back on top of Daichi. “But now there are more pressing matters at hand. Now, where were we?” he asks, kissing a line up Daichi's throat.

 

Daichi shudders, but tries to play it off. “Hmm, I'm not quite sure,” he replies playfully, wrapping his arms around Tetsurou's neck. “I think you're going to have to remind me,” he finishes, grinning.

 

“You're such a bastard sometimes,” Tetsurou laughs, rolling off to the side and covering his face.

 

“But you love me anyway,” Daichi reminds him, rolling over to kiss him, and that's the end of the conversation for the next little while.

 

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is so Gay im Burning how did i survive writing it honestly
> 
> i hope u all enjoyed it, i wanted it 2 be super tender n stuff :')
> 
> as always, feel free to hmu on [tumblr](http://priincetakumi.tumblr.com)! comments here or there are much appreciated <3


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